Shopping while poly

Yesterday we went grocery shopping as a group for the first time. It only make sense as we're doing the "intentional family" thing and my boyfriend is eating here more and more often.

But it was slightly surreal. I'm used to hubby adding things to the cart without my notice but to have two of them doing it? Kinda like shopping with kids.

I'm not sure we were ever all together at once. Hubby would find something interesting and lag behind to look at it, Boyfriend would get tired of watching me compare prices and wander off gor a bit.

I'd hug or kiss whoever happened to be nearest when the mood struck. At times I'd ask one or the other which flavor they wanted.

If someone were to pay close attention, I'd imagine they be slightly confused.

Sleep and control

Watching you sleep.

You've turned your back on me. I can just see the outline of your body in the almost dark. I want to trail my fingers along that line. Along the side of your head, down over your neck, especially your neck, over your shoulder and down the length of your arm lying on top of the covers.

You need your sleep and I've had my fun, had my hands on and in you and now it's your time to rest.

So I'll resist touching. I won't trace over the marks on your back, I won't wrap my hands around your throat, won't shove my fingers almost too far into your mouth. I'll resist your poor swollen and tender nipples and I'll refuse to think about the parts of you under the sheets.

I have to close my eyes now. Self control is hard.

After

I've said it before. I love to hurt you. I love watching you struggle to stay still for me. I love hearing your panting, your moans, your whispers. I love that you reach for me in your pain and wonder if you're even aware that you do that. I love watching the marks appear, using your flesh as my canvas. 

But my absolute favorite part is the after. Finally unfettered you melt into me trying to get as close as possible. Your eyes red and wet and so very expressive. Your lips soft and needy. You seem so raw, so small. I let you dissolve into me. Pet and cuddle. Occasionally pinch a welt or a bite mark just to feel a quiet moan against my neck. 

It makes me greedy for more. 

Introductions

I want to talk about my relationships here so I suppose I need to make some introductions.

Hello, I'm Kat. This is one of the places I express myself. I am polyamorous, pagan (leaning toward atheism), and sex positive. I've been told I'm a sensual dominant and that's true, I do love to cuddle and pet. But I'd classify myself as a sadist and a reaction junkie. I adore the noises men make when they're in pain!

I'm in an, almost, 16 year relationship with a man. We'll call him Wolf here. He is also dominant, for a while I tried to be his submissive but that is not who am. I'll tell you that story another time. We're happily vanillish with each other.

Recently I began a relationship with a man who I've known online for about a year. We'll call him Bear and he's turning out to be a lovely submissive and is making me very happy.

Kissing

To me kissing is one of the most intimate things I can do. I can count the number of men I've kissed on one hand. There are people out there who have had my mouth on most areas of their bodies, but not their lips. 

But. 

You were kneeling there, hooded with only your mouth free. I was pulling hard on the chain between your nipple clamps. You tried to resist moving forward. (I never get tired of watching the internal battle to stay still) Your lips parted as you gasped with the pain. 

Eventually, blind and in pain, you stumbled closer to me. And as I leaned forward listening to your moans your mouth was right there. Open slightly, tongue quickly licking over them, soft, and inviting. And so I kissed you. I felt the shift move through your body as I breathed your breath, caught your moans with my mouth. 

And now I can't stop kissing you, even when your poor lips are bruised with bite marks. 

A confession

I'm a Domme and I like blow jobs. That may sound odd. I know a lot of people equate fellatio with submission. I don't. Blow jobs make me feel powerful.

I like to bite and now I have the most delicate part of his anatomy in my mouth, between my teeth. With tongue and teeth and lips I can control exactly how much pleasure and/or pain he experiences. My hands are free to touch his most intimate areas in just the way I want, if I want.

I can make it a quick trip over a waterfall, a roller coaster of ups and downs, or a long walk along a tightrope of a chasm of pleasure. I can push him over the edge and stop, ruining his fun or keep going until he becomes over sensitive and can't keep still. Or I can just stop when I feel like it, leaving him gasping and thrusting for more.

Power.

Please please please

I love hurting you. 

I love it when your teeth clench, your eyebrows pull together, and your whole body tenses but most of all, I love that look in your eyes.

 

You keep repeating "please please please". Finally I ask "please what? Please stop, please more?" All you can do us answer breathily "I don't know" and I laugh at you and pull off a clamp. 

Delicious.